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You’ve not only opened up my eyes to a wonderful world of passion but to myself.’ Ben Sheppard’s body relaxes and he sits back on the couch. He is smiling. His face is relaxed. His own furrow is gone. ‘Thank god,’ he says. ‘I felt so bad for not bringing this up before. I wasn’t sure how tonight was going to go.’ ‘You want to know how tonight is going to go, big boy?’ I kick his shin with my big toe. I am feeling relieved and playful. ‘Sure.’ ‘Here’s how tonight is going to go: I’m going to feed you a big steak with a salad and potatoes. We’re going to drink too much wine, we’re going to talk and dance and when the moment is right, you’re going to take me to bed.’ ‘That sounds like a good night.’ ‘Yes, it does. How do you like your steak?’ ‘Rare.’ ‘Of course you do,’ I say. I sear his steak on my cast-iron pan. The pan is hot as I could make it and I leave his New York Strips on each side for two minutes. I cook mine longer but not as long as I may have once done. I plate his steak. " Some people never feel that flame even once, you've been a lucky womanto have your heart touched by fire twice," the blind woman said."And did he do it? Did he really have anything to do with this terriblething these men have done to you?" she asked."No, he had nothing to do with it. It just looked like he did to me." And if you can resolve not to be this kind of woman you fear to becomeaway from him, why should you not do this anyway?"I don't know if I can or even if I will," she said quietly."So why do you think you should leave then?" she asked in her liltingFrench accent."Because I don't know what is real now. I've got all of these directivespopping up in my mind and I can't tell which ones are me and which onesare what someone raped my spirit with. And if I stay I don't think I'llever be real again." But was it real...before this happened? Was what you and this Derekfelt real then? Do you think that it's still there now?" she askedagain."Yes...it is," she said. "It's real and.
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